When I think about it, I often wonder why people spend so much of their time wondering what the meaning of life is. To me, it's so simple. The meaning of life...is life.
I think I knew Josie was on her way even before the test turned positive. I just instinctively knew there was life there. All those months spent planning and looking forward to her birth, marveling at the incredible nature of life growing inside me. Then all of a sudden, that life was extinguished.
And it hit me. That was it. Life was the point of it all. That spark; that little fire within. It starts at the moment of conception and grows...and grows. It just...does. I knew that life was there from the word go - I knew it in the deepest part of myself.
So after it all, I think I have actually been a little bit blessed by the aftermath of the situation - I know the meaning of Bella's worth so sharply. The perspective I've gained by losing Josie has honed my absolute knowledge of how precious and sensitive Bella is. If I could go back in time, I would save Josie somehow - that will never change - but since that is impossible, I have to look at how she has continued to change my life.
It is because of Josie that I value every life brought into the world.
No child "should never have been born."
No child should ever feel unwanted.
No single mother should ever be made to feel less adequate because she doesn't have a man. The same goes for single fathers. Love is love and a child grows from beautiful experience, not from the semblance of a nuclear family.
No child should ever have to grow up in an environment without compassion.
No child should ever have to endure the horrible loneliness of no physical contact.
Every child should feel loved. Because they are lovable. And worthy. And sweet. And smart. And beautiful.