About Little Old Me...

Life is so changeable, isn't it. I started off my working life as a salesperson in an alternative bedding store (a job I did enjoy actually). I've been a cocktail maker, an advocate, a trainer, a waitress and a district manager: a job role in which my company car got smashed into the ground by a tree in front of my house:

Rest in peace, poor car... (almost took me with it - five minutes earlier I'd been out there packing the trunk. Close call...)

Anyway then, in May of 2009, I decided to take the plunge and go freelance: something I'd been doing "on the side" for some nine years. I'd almost lost my own life along with my infant daughter, Josie Jae in October of 2008 when I experienced a sudden and completely devastating placental abruption in full-term labor. She'd been extracted via cesarean, and had not survived. Things had been very touch-and-go for about a day or two after that for me as well. We buried her on October 13th of 2008, and thus began a heart-achingly difficult journey toward healing and real, true freedom combined.

When I found out I was expecting Josie's little sister, a tipping point came, and I handed in my notice at the corporation and two weeks later found myself out on my own, a brand new self-employed person. It was rather frightening to begin with, but somehow I pressed on and now write and produce graphics for a living. It's something I love to do - something that has shown me that to be truly free, one must be in a vocation one loves, or, one must become self sufficient and make one's own destiny. It has also shown me that at times, freedom is also hard - and that is natural.

My second daughter, Isobella Mai was born on January 12th, 2010 into the arms of a fabulous doctor via wonderful and triumphant, healing VBAC. She is amazing, and brought with her a huge dose of energy and light. She continues to be the doorway to the universe in terms of soul-warmth and beauty; every day with her is an absolute blessing to me.

In terms of where to go next...well, I want to keep working; keep writing; keep getting better at what I do. I feel strongly that I need to give as much as possible to the world and be as prolific as I can be, both because in the end it is simply better to give than receive (especially the giving of joy to other people) and also because one never does know when this life will turn into the next life... I also now retouch photographs for the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation (NILMDTS) as a digital retouch artist, which I find very rewarding and humbling. It's such an honor to work with other families and help Mamas and Papas have a lasting memory of their lost little ones.

So this blog is a frequent snapshot into life. It's honest - I don't always feel strong - and it's from the heart. I can't possibly speak for other people, only for myself: ergo I always write as myself. Feel free to question me, leave comments and suggestions - as a fellow human, I always appreciate them!